Menopause, December, and the Resolution Trap

Why your old goal-setting playbook stops working, and what to do instead

I remember when the year 2000 seemed like a distant, shiny sci-fi fantasy. Then time did that thing it loves to do: it sprinted.

And here we are again, at the end of another year, looking back with a mix of pride, exhaustion, and that slightly panicked feeling of: Gosh, I thought I’d be further along by now.

If you’re reading this in December with a heavy chest and a busy brain, you’re not alone. And if you’re in perimenopause or menopause, there’s a very real reason the end-of-year emotional weather can feel… stormier.

Because your body isn’t just responding to the calendar. It’s responding to biology, stress, sleep, and the accumulated mental load of Being A Functional Adult.

The New Year’s resolution myth (menopause edition)

Most resolutions are written by your January brain for a life that only exists in Instagram reels.

They usually assume:

• stable energy

• stable mood

• decent sleep

• predictable appetite

• plenty of time

• minimal stress

• a body that still behaves the same way it did at 25

Meanwhile, menopause laughs politely, then flips the script.

During peri/menopause, fluctuating (and later lower) oestrogen and progesterone can affect sleep, temperature regulation, stress tolerance, mood, and how your body uses fuel. Add a demanding job, family needs, and the holiday season, and you’re not “unmotivated”. You’re overloaded.

This is why the classic resolution approach so often backfires. It treats your body like a machine that should follow instructions, rather than a human nervous system that needs support.

December brain is a biased narrator

Here’s the annoying truth: when you’re stressed, your brain becomes a highlight reel editor… but it only includes the bleak bits.

That doesn’t mean nothing good happened this year. It means your nervous system is naturally prioritising threat survival, not celebration.

So if you’re thinking:

• I didn’t do enough

• I’m behind

• I’ve messed it up

• I’m not who I thought I’d be by now

…that's your brain, not a fact.

Which means you don’t need a complete overhaul in January. You need a gentler, smarter reset that respects how midlife actually works.

A better year-end review: PMA (Positive Messy Action)

Instead of doing the annual self-interrogation, try this three-part reflection. It’s simple enough to do with a notebook and a cup of tea (or your beverage of choice).

1) Wins (even if they’re tiny)

Write 10 things that went right this year. If your brain resists, go smaller:

• I asked for help

• I went for a walk when I didn’t want to

• I kept going

• I made one appointment I’d been avoiding

• I set one boundary

• I survived a hard season

Tiny wins are not consolation prizes. They’re evidence of your success.

2) Lessons (no shame allowed)

What did this year teach you about:

• your energy

• your stress triggers

• your sleep needs

• your people

• your boundaries

Menopause is often a brutally honest teacher. Your body is refusing to tolerate what it used to, and it's time to pay attention.

3) Supports (what actually helps you)

List the things that reliably make you feel more like yourself:

• being around people you trust

• lifting weights

• eating protein earlier in the day

• going outside before lunch

• less alcohol

• more water

• fewer late nights scrolling

• structure that feels like support, not prison

This part matters because you’re not trying to build a perfect life. You’re trying to build one that works for you.

Resolutions vs intentions: the menopause-friendly upgrade

Resolutions often sound like punishment, whereas intentions sound like partnership. I look at it like this: Resolutions are for Corporations; Intentions are for Human Beings.

Here’s the difference in simpler terms:

• Resolution: I have to fix myself

• Intention: I will support myself

So instead of a rigid list of impossible demands, try intentions anchored to the four foundations we teach: THINK, EAT, MOVE, LIVE. Here are some of mine as examples you can build from:

THINK: calm the inner commentary

• Practise self-compassion when I wobble

• Notice all-or-nothing thinking and choose the next smallest step

• Do a 5-minute reset when my stress is building

EAT: nourish, don’t restrict

• Start the day with a protein-first breakfast most days

• Build meals that keep blood sugar steady

• Eat enough at meals so I’m not prowling the kitchen at 9pm

MOVE: strength is the midlife cheat code

• Strength train 3 times per week (my minimum effective dose - yours may differ)

• Walk daily, even if it’s 10 minutes

• Add mobility or stretching after showers or before bed, because future me will be soooooo grateful.

LIVE: design your environment for success

• Choose a consistent bedtime window

• Reduce the things that spike my stress

• Spend time with people who feel like a safe space

• Make space for joy, not just productivity

This is the part most women miss: your daily structure is either supporting your nervous system, or draining it. There’s no neutral here. It won't be perfect from day to day, but it needs to be a simple foundation you can rely on.

An easier between-Christmas-and-New-Year reset

If thinking ahead to January feels too big, do this instead. Seven days. Low drama.

Day 1: pick your word for 2026 (or a theme)
Day 2: set one non-negotiable for sleep
Day 3: plan 3 protein-first breakfasts
Day 4: schedule 2 strength sessions
Day 5: choose one boundary that protects your energy
Day 6: book one appointment you’ve been avoiding
Day 7: write out a few smaintentions and put them somewhere visible

No reinvention. No punishment. Just a return to yourself, only better.

If you’re still feeling lost, do this one thing

Stop guessing.

If your symptoms, sleep, mood, weight changes, or energy feel confusing, it’s not because you're lacking anything. It’s because you need clarity and a plan that fits your real life.

Our Menopause Impact Assessment is a low-pressure starting point to get the support you need. We use a validated symptom tool to help you understand what’s driving what, then we map out your next best steps so you can feel better, fast. If you're curious what that might look like, you can get more details HERE.

And if all you do today is breathe out and decide you’re allowed to be human, that counts too. 💜