How to not get steamrolled by the season + the New Year trap again

Let’s be honest.

Did you know that the average adult woman will do 126 diets in her lifetime? Seriously…if a diet was going to save you, surely at least one of them would have worked by now.

You are an intelligent, capable, grown woman who can run a household, a calendar, a career, and probably half of other people’s lives too. Not being able to stick to a complicated or restrictive program isn’t a sign of personal failure. Diets are set up to fail so you keep coming back for the next one. It's a multi-BILLION dollar industry!

So why do smart women like us keep getting sucked back into the same cycle?

• Feel uncomfortable in our body

• Swear this time will be different

• Pick the next shiny plan

• White knuckle it for a bit

• Life happens

• Shame, guilt, repeat

All while slowly shrinking our lives: avoiding certain clothes, dodging social events, hiding from cameras, promising ourselves we will feel “ready” later.

Quick side note before we go further

If you are already nodding along, then you will probably want to join the free live workshop James and I are running on 17 December at 6 pm UK / 1 pm EST / 10 am PST.

We'll walk you through five steps to start calming menopause weight chaos now, in December, so you do not stumble into January feeling like a hot, bloated mess.

And yes, we’re fully aware that a “weight loss workshop” in December sounds like the rudest possible timing.

If you’re picturing sad salads, saying no to everything, and spending Christmas sulking with herbal tea in the corner… that’s NOT what this is.

This is about understanding what’s going on in your midlife body so you can enjoy the food, the parties, the prosecco and the panettone without feeling like you’ve been flattened by a passing bakery van by the first week of January.

No detox. No silly products. No being shouted at to try harder.

You can save your spot and get more details HERE

Now, back to a few uncomfortable truths.

(Keep reading, there's good news coming too, I promise!)

Diets are not helping. They are a distraction.

We often talk about diets like they are our only hope. Have you talked to anyone lately who’s not on a diet?

In reality, diets are the most socially acceptable way to avoid doing the real work our bodies need.

Because if the problem is always “this diet was just wrong for me” then you never have to ask harder questions like:

• What limiting beliefs do I have about my worth, my body and my value?
  

• Where am I still people pleasing at the expense of my own health?
  

• How long have I put my life on hold waiting to feel smaller, fitter, more acceptable?
  

• Why am I more afraid of other people’s opinions than of losing my energy, strength and independence?

The diet industry loves women who are stuck in that loop.

Less self trust. More desperation.

Great for sales. Terrible for your actual life.

The photo problem nobody talks about

One of the quiet ways this shows up is in photos – and the holidays are a big time for pictures.

How many times have you stepped out of a photo because you didn’t like how you looked?

Maybe you told yourself there would be other times, later, when you felt better in your body.

Now think about someone you have loved and lost.

When you look at their photos, do you zoom in on their belly, their chin, or their arms and pick them apart?

Of course you don’t.

You think about their laugh. Their eyes. The moments you shared. The fact that you still get to see them when you miss them because you have those photos and videos.

The people who love you deserve the same.

If someone looks at a picture of you and chooses to comment on your body instead of who you are, they are not your people. Full stop.

So make this the year you decide to focus on savouring memories instead of stewing in self-criticism.

The invisible cost of “I’ll start when…”

Here is the scary bit we don't like to say out loud.

Every time we say:

• I’ll start when work calms down

• I’ll start when the kids are older

• I’ll start when this project finishes

• I’ll start in the new year…

…we think we’re just pressing pause.

We are not.

Time does not pause. Hormones do not pause. Muscle loss, bone density, cardiovascular risk, none of that politely waits until you have finished being busy.

The longer we people please, the longer we put ourselves last on the list, the less we get to live the life we actually want.

The longer we delay looking after our health, the more energy, strength and independence we quietly give away.

And sometimes, heartbreakingly, we run out of chances. Health crises, accidents, diagnoses and losses never ask if the timing is convenient.

That's not a scare tactic. It is reality for too many women I know and love (or have known and loved).

Midlife is not the end. It is a plot twist.

Now for the GOOD NEWS. Because there’s actually lots!

One of the secret gifts of this phase of life is that your internal “give a damn” meter starts to shift.

You might notice:

• Less patience for nonsense

• Less energy for pretending

• Less willingness to squeeze yourself back into old roles that no longer fit
  

Yes, it can feel uncomfortable and messy. You might worry you’re becoming difficult, selfish, or too much.

You’re not.

Your brain and body are literally rewiring. Hormones are changing, synapses are pruning, priorities are being rearranged. You are not breaking down. You are outgrowing old rules.

And the very annoying - and liberating - truth is this:

If you are the one standing in your way, you are also the one with the power to shift.

That is confronting. It is also incredibly hopeful.

Because it means:

• You get to decide that your health matters now, not at some magical “later”.

• You can choose to tolerate a bit of discomfort now so you are not forced into massive discomfort later.

• You can let some people be mildly and temporarily disappointed so that you don’t stay permanently disappointed in yourself.

Midlife is not when you stop. It is when you get to decide who you actually want to become.

Becoming, not fixing

What if, instead of “fixing” yourself in 2026, you chose to become more yourself?

Not a smaller, quieter, more obedient version.

A stronger, clearer, more self-respecting version.

That doesn’t happen in a twelve week challenge with a colour coded spreadsheet.

It happens:

• One boundary at a time

• One honest “no, I can’t do that” at a time

• One walk, one nourishing meal, one early night at a time

• One decision to be in the picture instead of hiding behind the camera

It will be messy. You will have weeks where old habits win. There will be setbacks, stressful seasons and days where you think “what is the point?”

That’s normal.

The point is not perfection.

The point is to take Positive Messy Action (our own version of PMA).

The point is that you keep coming back to yourself instead of abandoning yourself.

Where our workshop fits in

This is why our free live workshop on 17 December exists.

Let’s deal with the obvious first:

A weight loss workshop. In December.

When you’re tired, overbooked, and surrounded by mince pies and office chocolate.

If you’re thinking:

• “Absolutely not, I refuse to diet my way through Christmas”

• “I don’t have capacity for another thing to fail at”

• “I’ll just start in January like a normal person”

…then you are exactly who we had in mind when we designed it.

This is not a crash diet dressed up in festive colours.

It’s not about restriction, shame or earning your food.

You will not be told to skip the pudding, bring your own Tupperware to the work do, or track every crumb while everyone else is enjoying their favourite seasonal treats.

It is a space for women 40+ to:

• Understand what’s actually going on with their midlife body (beyond “eat less, move more”)

• Stop blaming themselves for willpower “failures” that are really stress, hormones and physiology

• Create a simple, realistic plan for the rest of December that they can carry into 2026

• Enjoy the holidays without needing a full-body apology tour in January
  

  You will not leave with a list of foods you are never allowed to eat again.

  You will leave with:

  • A clearer sense of what matters most for your health right now

  • A few concrete actions that feel doable in your real life (yes, including parties and family dinners)

  • More confidence that you can step into the new year feeling like a human, not roadkill from the Bakery Van of December

  We’ll also talk about how to get support in January without disappearing into diet hell, because this is about your long term health, not a 12-week sprint.

  If you’re tired of promising yourself that “this year will be different” and then waking up in the same loop, this is your invitation to try a different approach.

  👉 Grab your free seat HERE.

  The workshop is best live, where you can get real-time coaching. But we know that December is a busy month. So if you can’t make it live, register anyway and we will send you the replay.

  You are not too old. It is not too late. And you do not have to do it alone.